Let’s see here…it’s Wednesday…so that means it’s a “Really? That’s Your Plan?” day, so who do we have-
…I see you found your way out of the corner. We still have PLENTY of your plans to go through. So let me just put up the
sign, and we’ll jump right in for another segment of “Really? That’s Your Plan?”, with everyone’s favorite nose-less wonder.
The Triwizard Tournament and Resurrection
We’re jumping over The Prisoner of Azkaban due to Voldy not participating in those events. Voldemort has fashioned himself a makeshift body with the help of Ron’s pet rat turned death eater, Peter Pettigrew, and is working with Barty Crouch Jr. After hearing how the Triwizard Tournament is returning to Hogwarts, Voldemort comes up with, what I can only assume is, another “brilliant” plan. He gets Barty to pose as a new professor, gets Harry chosen to participate in the tournament, subtly manipulates events to get Harry to reach the end, and uses a portkey to get Harry away from Hogwarts. From there, Voldemort takes Harry’s blood to complete a ritual to create a proper body and returns to full power.
Really? That’s your plan? …that’s…actually a pretty good plan. Voldemort played the long game, waiting an entire school year, calculating every step, just to get Harry away from the protection of Hogwarts. His patience is pretty impressive. And the cherry on top of this resurrection sundae is Harry is the only one outside of his loyal followers that knows he’s alive. The entire fifth installment is all about how Harry tries to tell everyone that Voldemort is back, and the majority of people don’t believes him! Voldemort can operate in the shadows, undetected, to craft a scheme to take over without anyone knowing!
You know what Voldy? Maybe I was wrong. You made a couple mistakes, it happens, but you really outdone yourself. I apologize for doubting you and I can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for us next!
Going After The Prophecy
With Voldemort back in the flesh, he slowly rebuilds his Death Eater army. He decides to go after his and Harry’s prophecy so he can hear the rest of the message in hopes of learning a way to kill Harry. One problem though; only people who are mentioned in the prophecy can take the prophecy. With Voldemort still remaining under the radar, he uses his mental connection to Harry in order to trick him into going after the prophecy. Once claimed, he can have his Death Eaters swoop in to take it from Harry. Very good thinking Voldy! Keeping your resurrection a secret and using the boy…smart move.
During the struggle over the prophecy, it gets destroyed. (It’s not your fault Voldy, accidents happen.) Thus begins the battle between the Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters, with some Death Eaters probably about to be captured. So Voldemort enters the fray himself, revealing his resurrection to the world-
COME ON VOLDY! I WAS JUST PRAISING YOU FOR STAYING IN THE DARK AND YOU JUST SHOW YOUR FACE? Your Death Eaters had the situation handled! Sure, some of them were going to get captured, but you could have easily freed them like you did earlier and still kept your resurrection a secret! I was starting to admire your plans, AND YOU DO THIS?!?!?! BACK IN THE CORNER!
Draco the Death Eater
…okay. I took a deep breath. I had a cup of tea. No more capitalization to signify me yelling…I hope. So…moving on…
Now that EVERYONE knows Voldemort is alive, the Wizarding War begins. To punish Lucius Malfoy, old Voldy here decides to give his son, Draco, the impossible task of killing Albus Dumbledore. If Draco fails, then Voldemort will kill Draco. And that’s it. He has no other impact on the central events of The Half-Blood Prince. Which begs the question…why didn’t he realize that could be a really good plan?
Voldemort could have kept Draco as an informant, keeping tabs on what Harry, Dumbledore, and the rest of Hogwarts was up to. He could have aided Draco by teaching him more advanced spells or supplying him with magical items to better his chances of taking out Dumbledore and even Harry. Fight a young teenager with a young teenager.
Then there’s the vanishing cabinet. Draco comes up with the brilliant plan of fixing two connecting cabinets with teleportation abilities. This created an easy way to infiltrate Hogwarts. Once it was fixed, why didn’t Voldemort send EVERY Death Eater he had under his control to attack Hogwarts? Heck, why didn’t he enter the fray himself? He likes making public appearances, remember? It would have been the battle of Hogwarts a year earlier but with the element of surprise and less threatening opponents to deal with! Hogwarts would have been his in an hour tops! Voldy, Voldy, Voldy…
Final stretch, here we go! Voldemort supposedly died during his encounter with baby Potter. But then it was revealed that he was able to cheat death to a degree. How did he do this? He literally split his soul into seven pieces and placed six of them into objects of importance to him. He then hid those objects in places that held significance to him.
Okay, seriously? I know you want to create this huge larger then life mythos about yourself, but when it comes to protecting your life, there were an INFINITE number of better ways to deal with these horcruxes. First, he should have neither given his diary horcrux to Lucius, nor told ANYONE that he had horcurxes. If a lot of people want you dead, and you have this crucial weakness, WHY REVEAL THAT WEAKNESS? As soon as the diary was used in Hogwarts, Dumbledore became suspicious and started his investigation of Voldemort potentially having horcruxes! And thus began the first step towards his demise.
Second, why would he hide the horcruxes in the same country? Hermione made a very excellent point how one of his horcruxes could be in an entirely different country. Imagine if they were all across the globe? It would have made it that much more difficult to find them, and his immortality more secure.
Finally, why make the horcruxes such significant, personal objects? It’s like writing the words “HIT ME!” in giant glowing letters on an already ginormous bull’s eye! Here’s just one, incredibly easy way Voldemort would never have had his horcruxes found: turn a coin into horcrux, spend it on a butterbeer, and that horcrux will NEVER be found as it just circulates the Wizarding World.
But of course, he did not do any of these alternatives because Voldemort’s greatest strength and flaw is his pride and hubris. It’s what drove him down the path of the villain, fueled his journey, and sealed the final nail in his coffin.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just some guy on the Internet.
So what do you all think? What was Voldemort’s best plan? Any other flaws that I overlooked? Leave a comment and get this conversation rolling. Until next time, this is Xander signing off.