…welp…I did it. I…watched them. All of them. …I’m…not even entirely sure if it was worth in hindsight. They were just…holy crap…
NO! NO SPOILERS! THEY DO NOT DESERVE THE SPOILER SIGN! JUST START THE SEGMENT SO WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH!
Forte – Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas
First up we got…a giant pipe organ played by TIM CURRY?!?!? THAT’S SO AWE…I mean…it’s pretty cool…I guess.
Forte was once the Beast’s personal composer but transformed after the curse was placed on the castle. Unlike the other residents, Forte actually prefers being this form and desires not to return to his human self. That…is an interesting concept…huh…ANY WHO! With Beast and Belle growing closer, the chance for the spell to break is increasing, meaning Forte’s livelihood is in jeopardy. So what does he do? He sabotages their friendship though his Piccolo cohort while also manipulating Belle to leave the castle to find a tree and make the Beast think Belle is trying to escape.
DAMN, FORTE! That is hardcore evil! Sabotaging a relationship by sowing seeds of doubt? That’s an impressive plan! Honestly, the movie is unnecessary garbage. But this guy is a great villain. If he had one flaw, it would be trying to kill everyone in the castle. He should of just cut his losses, but then again, he was willing to risk his life for the chance to remain in his Organ form. That is some impressive commitment…
But this can’t possibly be the case for the rest of the sequels, right? It’s got to be a fluke! A one-time thing! NEXT!
Morgana – Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
Here we go! Morgana is, get this, Ursula’s sister. She’s literally a copy of Ursula, turned skinny, and pasted into the movie. There’s no WAY that a copy and pasted villain could have a good plan.
So Morgana wants the trident…just like Ursula. After her first failed attempt (as expected for a copy and pasted villain) she’ll need a new plan! And what is this plan? Manipulate Ariel’s daughter Melody into stealing the trident for her as well convincing Melody that trident was stolen from her.
Oh…huh…that’s…not half bad. She was able to use Melody’s doubts to her advantage, even being able to get Melody to trust her over Ariel, her own mother! That is some impressive coercion. Don’t get me wrong, it’s Ursula’s plan in reverse and she could have easily held her hostage for ransom. But she did one better. Using King Triton’s granddaughter against him is straight up diabolical! Not bad for a copy and pasted villain.
Why are these Villains having good plans? These are DISNEY SEQUELS! The movies are abysmal! IT DOESN’T COMPUTE! Okay…one more.
Lady Tremaine – Cinderella III: A Twist in Time
Okay. It’s Lady Tremaine…in Cinderella 3! CINDERELLA 3! There’s NO WAY that a film called Cinderella 3 could possibly have a great evil plan.
So it’s one year after the first film. Cinderella and her prince are happy, Lady Tremaine and her daughters are miserable. Nothing could possibly go wrong…except for the Fairy Godmother’s wand falling into…Lady Tremaine’s hands? And…she uses it to turn back time to make it so the slipper fit one of her stepdaughter’s instead of Cinderella?
…that…is evil in its purest form…I’m not going to lie, not only is this a great plan, but it’s a great premise for a movie. It might even be the best Disney sequel I’ve see thus far. It may not seem possible, but Lady Tremaine may be even more evil then she was in her first film! The things she does…she makes the prince fall in love with her daughter and she even tries to KILL CINDERELLA! The stakes are raised incredibly high in this film, and the prince actually has personality, unlike his first film where he had less then 3 sentences.
But…it doesn’t make sense…HOW CAN CINDERELLA 3 BE A GOOD MOVIE? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! Which brings me to my final thoughts:
HOW? I sat through so many crappy Disney sequels, expecting to see some of the worst villains put to film…but none of them have a terribly horrible plan! I would be reaching into the bottom of the barrel if I had to comment on them. It doesn’t make any sense!
Could…could it be that there was more effort put into these cop out films for a quick buck? Did some of the creators actually try to create something well written? I will admit…some of these films were enjoyable…I never expected to like something like Cinderella 3 so much…maybe…it was worth watching all those films…
…NAH! Most them were pretty bad films. Not worth it one bit.
Thank you so much for joining me on this month long adventure of “Really? That’s your Plan?” Disney edition. Next week we’ll cover something new, but until then, this is Xander signing off.