The Marvel Cinematic Universe has proven itself to be an impressive franchise. With sixteen films and eight television shows thus far, grossing over $12.5 Billion in films alone, and no end in sight, the MCU has become a cultural icon for the world that other studios are trying desperately to replicate.
While impressive, most MCU films suffer from a similar weak link: their villains. With the exception of a select few, most of them are pretty forgettable and don’t offer anything new. And if that’s the case…then that must mean…that they’ve GOT SOME PRETTY BAD PLANS AS WELL! Time for another rousing segment of “Really? That’s your Plan?” MCU edition!
Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger – Iron Man
Life was good for Obadiah. After his partner, Howard Stark, passed away, he became the CEO of Stark Industries. Things were great…until a young Tony Stark stepped in and became the new CEO. How dare that kid follow in his father’s footsteps! How will Obadiah right this wrong? He hires a group of terrorists to kill Tony while he’s off unveiling his new weapon in another country.
…not bad. Moving on!
After Tony gets back and builds his new suit, Obadiah discovers how Tony escaped using the very first Iron Man suit. Naturally, Obadiah wants to make his own suit. But uh oh! He doesn’t have the arc reactor to power it and he still wants to be the CEO. How will he kill two birds with one stone? He forcefully takes Tony’s arc reactor, describes his plan in depth, and leaves Tony to die.
Oh great, another Hans. Okay, for every villain out there: NEVER LEAVE THE HERO UNTIL THEY’RE ACTUALLY DEAD! 99% of the time, they’re going to find a way out and survive. Hero’s are crafty like that. And I get it. You want to gloat because of the ingenious plan you’ve made. Just ensure that you actually got the job done. Tony Stark is incredibly smart! Of course he’s going to find a way to save himself and save the day much to Obadiah’s annoyance.
Justin Hammer – Iron Man 2
Justin has a lot going for him. He’s the official weapons contractor for the U.S. government…huh…that’s it…I thought there’d be more. Justin just wants to be as cool and respected as Tony Stark. There’s just one problem. He doesn’t have an Iron Man suit, and that’s what all the cool technology CEO’s have. So what can Justin do to rectify this? He hires a suspicious Russian man who tried to kill Tony, gives him limitless access to his facilities with no supervision whatsoever in hopes that he’ll make Justin an Iron Man suit.
Why would you hire this guy?
Does that look like a trustworthy guy? And let’s say Justin doesn’t believe in judging a book by its cover or a person for attempting homicide. He doesn’t keep Vanko under any supervision! Justin was surprised when he found out that Vanko was working on drones and not a suit. If he kept him supervised, the drones wouldn’t have been built and Justin wouldn’t have gone to jail. That’s what you get for trusting a man you’ve never met who’s obsessions include killing Tony Stark and birds.
Loki – Thor
When Loki was a young lad, he just couldn’t wait to be king. Unfortunately, his brother Thor was first in line for the throne, and the day of his coronation is growing closer and closer. How will this master of deception and trickery get what he wants? By allowing the frost giants to enter Asgard, provoking Thor into planning an attack on Jotunheim prompting Odin to punish Thor by taking his power and banishing him.
That is a complicated and well-executed plan. Color me impressed. And he did it just in the knick of time, because Odin has fallen into a deep sleep, meaning Loki is now king. As king of Asgard, what’s Loki’s first major act? He allows frost giant to enter Asgard, allowing for a good excuse to attack Jotunheim…
…THAT’S JUST THE SAME PLAN AS LAST TIME! Did he not see Odin’s reaction to attacking Jotunheim? He wasn’t happy in the slightest. Loki’s doing this just to impress his father, but HE’S ASLEEP! HE’S NOT GOING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! Honestly, if Loki just did a good job as king and helped people then by the time Odin woke up, he’d be proud of all the good things that Loki’s done. But no! He has to plan the same elaborate attack just to earn daddy’s love even though Thor did the exact same thing a day ago and earned banishment because of it! So odd. So very very odd.
That’s all this week for “Really? That’s your Plan?” MCU edition. Tune in next week for even more villains and their blunders. Be sure to leave comment describing some of your favorite bad plans and maybe I’ll cover them in future segments. Until then, this is Xander signing off.