Bust out your shields and hammers, folks! Time for another rousing segment of “Really? That’s your Plan?” MCU edition! Will our villains be cool and interesting or will they just sit in a chair all day, trying to look intimidating? Let’s find out.
Johann Schmidt/Red Skull – Captain America: The First Avenger
After receiving a makeover, Johann took a vacation to Norway and found himself a powerful, glowing cube of powered power-ness. What shall Johann do this with this MacGuffin? Create a ton of weapons to blow up every major city in the world.
Oh, great. We’ve got a crazy one. The amount of resources Johann possesses is staggering. But simply blowing up cities is amateur hour. What would that accomplish? Yes, the world would be thrown into chaos, but that would affect Hydra in more detrimental ways then helpful. Imagine the state of the economy. This could also affect food and clean water supplies and their distribution as well. Plus, he was targeting cities in Germany as well! Johann wants to be all powerful? Fine! But do it in a smart way! Take over the Nazi regime with your advanced weaponry and just win the war! He’d really have no trouble at all to complete this. But no, Johann has to blow up the world to fulfill his power-hungry fantasy.
Loki – The Avengers
Welcome back, old friend. After “falling” to his demise, Loki decides to seek sponsorship from some purple dude in a chair. This guy gives Loki an alien army and a mind-controlling staff. What does Loki decide to do with his new gifts? He uses the staff to gain a plethora of cohorts to help steal the tesseract and create a portal to allow his alien army to come to earth.
This…is not a bad plan. It’s got plenty of merit and does work in the end (though it is thwarted by some super intervention). However, I’d like to offer up a counter-plan, if you will. There are other ways to take over the world. Rather than focusing on opening up that portal, why not have some more fun with that mind-controlling staff. Couple that with Loki’s illusion powers, and he can basically get anywhere at ease and to mind control anyone. Why not illusion himself into the U.N. to take control of the nation’s leaders? World domination just like that. If he was patient and didn’t reveal himself, perhaps he could have had all of earth at his fingertips.
Ronan – Guardians of the Galaxy
Yo, listen up: here’s a story about a blue Cree guy who lived in a spaceship. This dude has one desire: to kill all of Xandar. And it’ll be a cinch because he just acquired a purple powered stone of power-ness that with one touch, can obliterate all life on a planet. With the stone in hand, Ronan begins his siege on the planet of Xandar in his so giant you can’t miss it, mighty spaceship.
Here lies Ronan’s weakness: a lack of subtlety. Mounting a full-scale invasion can be an effective method of destroying a planet, but he has the infinity stone. He just needs to touch his staff on the planet, and the planet will be destroyed. If that’s the case, then why not stealthily land on Xandar? He basically announced his arrival for all of the planet to see, giving them enough time to mount a counterstrike. For a planet that is easily accessible to the likes of known felons such as Gamora and Peter, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ronan could get to the planet undetected as well. No need for an invasion, or arriving in your overcompensating sized ship. But alas, he had to put a big spectacle on.
Another segment of “Really? That’s your Plan?” MCU edition down. Tune in next week for even more villains and their blunders. Be sure to leave comment describing some of your favorite bad plans and maybe I’ll cover them in future segments. Until then, this is Xander signing off.