Robot armies and superheroes fighting superheroes? It must be time for another rousing segment of “Really? That’s your Plan?” MCU edition! Will our villains be cool and interesting or will they just sit in a chair all day, promising to act eight movies later? Let’s find out.
Ultron – Avengers: Age of Ultron
On the day he was born, Ultron was tasked with saving the Earth. Naturally, the only possible solution to this conundrum was to eradicate all of humanity. A little extreme, but hey, I like a guy who dreams big. So how shall Ultron destroy all humans? After failing to create a perfect body, Ultron builds a device to lift up the city of Sokovia, then have it crash on to the earth, causing the earth to crash.
That’s…a rather complex plan if you ask me. And not exactly the plan I’d expect from this robotic mastermind. If you can recall, Ultron was capable of hacking into banks in order to pay Ulysses Klaue billions of dollars for the vibranium. With that kind of hacking power, why not hack into the stock market and collapse? Why not hack into government facilities to gain access to all manners of nuclear weaponry? Why not hack into every device imaginable and cause it to go haywire? Ultron’s got a lot of potential options, yet he chooses to drop a city? It’s not a bad plan, but it’s certainly not the best plan.
Darren Cross – Ant Man
After taking over Pym Technologies, Darren Cross grew obsessed with creating the supposed shrinking formula that Hank Pym developed. He also wanted to sell the technology to terrorist organizations because being the CEO of one of the top technology companies doesn’t already come with a big paycheck. His first attempt on screen to use the shrinking formula results in Cross turning his “willing subject” into a tiny pile of goo-
…wait a second…a tiny gun…that turns people into a teeny speck of goo…
WHY NOT SELL THAT? Terrorists would be THRILLED to have a gun like that. You would make BILLIONS of dollars with that kind of weapon. Who needs a shrink ray when you can literally turn any enemy into GOO! One shot on Iron Man and he’s done! Captain America? Done! Most of the Avengers? Done! I thought you were some kind of techno genius, Cross. If that’s the case, the WHERE’S YOUR FRICKIN’ BRAIN? COME ON!
The Government – Captain America: Civil War
Yes, I know the government wasn’t the villain this film, but it was an antagonizing force that deserves to have its plans up for questioning. Due to civilian casualties, the Avengers are put in question as the United Nations demands them to no longer be a private organization. To the government I have to say: would you have preferred the alternative?
Other than Sokovia, every mission these heroes have been has helped the world tremendously. If the Avengers never assembled, New York and possibly the world would have been decimated by aliens. The three crashing hellicarriers were created by a U.S. government agency and misused by government officials. If the hellicarriers weren’t stopped, then the re-embodiment of Nazis would have killed millions of lives. And finally, if Scarlet Witch hadn’t thrown a detonating Brock Rumlow into the air, then WAY more people would have died on the street due to that explosion. Avengers put in check? Perhaps you should be put in check.
This has been “Really? That’s your Plan?” MCU edition. Tune in next week as we wrap up the MCU’s villains and their plans. Be sure to leave comment describing some of your favorite bad plans and maybe I’ll cover them in future segments. Until then, this is Xander signing off.